The Full Range of Humanity

Happy Monday! It's freezing cold and icy here (but don't worry, we still have classes. Just not any other college or public school. #BaylorStandard). I'm really excited about this post. I've had it in the back of my mind for a while, but everything has been so busy I haven't had time until now to sit down and actually write it. Excuse the mess it will be, but it's something that I am very passionate about.

I spend a lot of time thinking about humanity, cultures, societal expectations, and gender differences. There seems to be a lot of "rules" today for men and women, and how they are supposed to act to stand apart from one another. It's no secret that gender inequality is a huge issue. I wish we knew when it all started; when we moved away from God's intent of human behavior and accepted (especially within the church) these new ideas of masculinity and femininity. More than that, I wish we knew how large the effect is of these "rules" on children.

My senior year of high school I got to help teach a kindergarten class. For one class period, I would drive over to the K-1 and spend 90 minutes with 27 of my best friends in Ms. Howard's class. Some days we had recess, some days we had music class, and some days we had individual tutoring. Some days I helped with Ms. Howard's lessons, and some days I taught my own. One day a week, I would arrive just as my class was being escorted from P.E. to music. On one day in particular, a female gym teacher was walking the class down the hallway. I followed behind the line of adorable 5-6 year olds, receiving hugs, waves, and "Ms. Kelsey!!!"'s as they noticed me (these memories are still some of my favorite). As they walked on this day, though, I was stunned at the gym teacher's words for her kindergarten students. "I am so disappointed," she began, "today you boys played the game like girls. That was so embarrassing, and you should be ashamed. When the girls can do better than you, that's bad." Embarrassing? Excuse me? She clearly hadn't paid attention to the girls in the class, especially Lorelai, who could have beat any boy in her class at any sport. Beyond the obvious falsity of her statement, I was hurt for my kids. I was hurt for the girls, who had just heard that to be like them was embarrassing, and I was hurt for the boys, who had just been told they weren't good enough. Maybe I'm wrong, but I never thought Kindergarten P.E. was that serious.

I've spent a lot of time working with elementary kids in after-school programs, and I love them. Maybe that makes me crazy, but I'll accept it. They're worth the stress and chaos. I'm convinced that there is no other age group who can love quite like them. I've received countless handmade gifts (including a painted clay bowl for Mother's Day, because I was that level of important), been asked to birthday parties, sleepovers, and class presentations, and I've been hugged at least two million times. I am always amazed at the sincerity of their love and trust. Just by being there every day, I earned their trust enough that I could ask them for updates on problems they'd been having. Remembering that they had struggled and making the effort to follow through with them was so important.

I never imagined any of the kids I would work with would say "Miss Kelsey, will you come to my school play/show-and-tell/D.A.R.E. graduation?" and genuinely want me to be there to see them. Senior year, I got the chance to go to a D.A.R.E. graduation and see some of my 5th graders, and that was really special. One boy in particular, a trouble maker in the program, had no one else come to see him. We didn't always get along, mostly because our interactions were usually him getting in trouble for acting out, but that didn't mean that I didn't care for him.

He's a young boy in a tough world, where boys are expected to be alpha-males, to be strong physically and mentally, to never be emotional or weak. On top of those expectations, he was living in a home with a single mom and a younger brother. You could see the pressure he faced just by looking at him- to be the definition of masculinity for his mom and brother. That day at D.A.R.E. graduation, he wasn't supposed to be hurt by the fact that no one had come to see him. When his friends gathered around to point out their families in the crowd, he wasn't supposed to feel left out. And when I saw him looking around, desperately searching for at least one person he knew, and then finally seeing me waving at him, he wasn't supposed to be excited. And he wasn't- until the next day at program, when he quietly walked over to me and mumbled "uhh, I saw you at my graduation yesterday." to which I replied, "I know, I came to see you and the other kids. You did a really good job." he nodded and said "yeah, my mom forgot, but it was cool that you came." He smiled and walked away, off to most likely steal a kindergartener's toy or dump his water on a girl. But for a moment, we had a breakthrough- he was allowed to drop the act and be vulnerable, to tell me that it meant something to him to have support.

That is what I want for his generation. I want them to be surrounded by adults as they grow up who will offer them a safe space to be human. If we can do that, maybe they will grow into adults who not only provide a safe space for their children, but who are examples of living beyond stereotypes and limitations on a daily basis. I don't want my son to ever feel like he can't be upset or weak, and I don't want my daughter to ever feel like she must make herself small or be passive in her dreams. I want my children to know that God has created them so brilliantly- they are both mountains and valleys, able to overcome and stand above the rest, but also able to lay down and be still. To say that girls are limited or lesser is to insult the power of God, and to say that boys are emotionless and always strong is to insult the mercy and grace of God. We are created to do great things, but we are not created to be perfect- we must lean on God, not ourselves, to accomplish anything.

My prayer is that the kids I have worked with, who are now entering middle school and junior high, are growing up with safe spaces. I need them to be role models for my children someday, so they can see that fully living means to be unashamed to experience the full range of humanity, both strength and weakness. There is beauty in both, and true success in life cannot be achieved without experience of both. Beyond spirituality, it is physically and mentally healthy to experience the full range. It breaks my heart to see stories in the news of boys committing suicide because they didn't feel masculine enough- strong, emotionless, and overbearing; and of girls committing suicide because they didn't feel feminine enough- delicate, pretty, and quiet.

There is freedom in Jesus that comes from looking to Him rather than society for how you should live. There is joy in living beyond stereotypes and knowing that you are reaching your full potential.



-Thanks for reading! You can continue to follow my journey here. Prayers are always appreciated. Feel free to send me a prayer or some encouragement, too! Kelsey_Phipps@baylor.edu

 

"You can be sure that God will take care of everything you need, His generosity exceeding even yours in the glory that pours from Christ Jesus. Our God and Father abounds in glory that just pours out into eternity. Yes." -Philippians 4:19-20

Mark Schultz, C.S. Lewis, and I...

"Then she heard a gentle voice, like an echo from above... 'I have been there; I know what pain is all about. Yes, I have been there- and I'm standing with you now. Oh, I have been there, and I came to build the bridges of this road that will lead you home."

Fear, pain, and sorrow. Three things that Mark Schultz mentions in his song "I Have Been There," when referring to the things Jesus has experienced alongside these people.

There really isn't a whole lot for me to post today, but today was my day to update, so I wanted to stay on track.

Do you ever have those days where everything that could go wrong has gone wrong, all at once, and you just feel like there's nothing you want to do but lay in bed and forget that anything exists?

That's today. That's this week. So many blessings have been happening, and now the enemy comes in to try to steal them. I'm working on not letting that happen. God's peace is reality, not the trials I'm facing.

Originally, I had no interest in 50 Shades of Grey, just saw it as another sex movie that many women were using to create a "holier than thou" competition out of. But as I read more and more about it, I understood a deeper meaning than the sex in it. A lot of what I study and hope to do with my life is to be a voice to victims of abuse that the media DOES have an influence on what our society condones and supports, and have an impact on that. The "Like A Girl" campaign is a great example- they have begun to turn a negative, demeaning phrase into a positive, empowering slogan for women everywhere, of all ages and walks of life, to find a place within. 50 Shades works the other way. It takes sex and female empowerment and warps them into a very scary picture. The girl in the book does not consent to everything that happens, and the man is a controlling, manipulative, abusive man who is now hailed by women everywhere as the perfect man. "He's rich, powerful, in control..." Okay, so take away his money and good looks. Now is he still so perfect? No- most women would describe him as a creep. But I digress.

The point is that I am working hard towards my goal. I want to spend my life being a voice and being part of a movement that reshapes how the media portrays women, victims, and people in general. The media is the biggest influence on my generation. They tell us what to think, and for the most part, we say "okay!" and move along to the next thing. We are desensitized. Girls as young as age eight have eating disorders. Half of girls age eleven report being on a diet. Every woman can say that she's seen something in the media that made her feel seriously bad about herself. The same goes for men, too. Men are supposed to be emotionless, extremely physically strong, and are supposed to be in a constant top-dog battle. It's a web that we al become tangled in. I want to change that. The media only gets to say/do these things because it sells. They make money off of it. So imagine if they didn't- if we stood up and said, "hey! That's not true and it makes us feel bad so we aren't going to listen to it." They would have no choice eventually but to say, "okay, so what DO you want?" Because what THEY want is to make money. There is a problem, and there is a solution.

So even on a terrible day like today, I am working on my goals. I am remembering that God has me here for a reason, that I am valued and worthy and loved, and that I am not alone. I'm struggling, yes but I'm not giving up. I am pushing forward.

"There are far, far better things ahead than any we leave behind." -C.S. Lewis



-Thanks for reading! You can continue to follow my journey here. Prayers are always appreciated. Feel free to send me a prayer or some encouragement, too! Kelsey_Phipps@baylor.edu

 

"You can be sure that God will take care of everything you need, His generosity exceeding even yours in the glory that pours from Christ Jesus. Our God and Father abounds in glory that just pours out into eternity. Yes." -Philippians 4:19-20

Shepherd and Counselor; Faith and Contentment

Matthew 6:25-27 says "Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air' they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?"

The answer to that question is no. Worrying is not of God. At no point in the Bible does someone ask God what to do and receive an answer of "Well, you should probably worry, because that seems like a pretty big problem." Not even Adam and Eve, when they lose the garden, Not Mary, when she must carry and deliver the son of God, not Moses, when he frees the slaves, not Abraham and Sarah, when they ask for a child, not Noah, when the Earth floods, not Jonah, Ruth and Naomi, Mary and Martha, or any of the disciples... Not anyone in the Bible is told by God to worry. These people all faced some pretty life-changing problems and events. Imagine being responsible for the fall of man, being the mother of Jesus, being 100 years old and pregnant, or even living in a time when Christianity was so illegal that they fed you to lions for professing it-- I feel like I would worry a bit about those things if I encountered them. In fact, thinking about those problems makes all of my problems suddenly seem, well, not so problematic.

One of my favorite women in history is Perpetua. She lived during a time when Christians were being executed lion's-lunch style. Perpetua had just given birth to a little boy and was still nursing at the time she was brought before the leaders to either profess or deny her faith. Before she begins to speak, her father approaches her and begs her to renounce Christianity so she can come home to her child. He tells her that without her nursing, her baby boy will likely die. Perpetua knows that there is no hope for her being spared from death if she admits to being a Christian, yet she also knows there is no hope for her soul if she walks away from God. She chooses to trust God's plan and tells her father, "Do you see this vessel lying here... a little pitcher... Can it be called by any other name than what it is? Nor can I call myself anything other than what I am, a Christian."

Her father gets so angry that he abandons her. Perpetua spends the next few days seeking God and praying over the calling for her life. She prays that God would save her baby, and not long after, the child is brought to her so she can nurse him. However, the child rejects it, and though she has not nursed in weeks, Perpetua feels no pain. She glorifies God in her martyrdom, never worrying about whether her child will be cared for, because she knows that her God is more powerful than any Earthly force, and though they can separate child from mother, they cannot separate child from God. She also does not worry about her own life, because she trusts in God's will for her.

Worry is unhelpful, unreasonable, and unhealthy. We just started a new series in church, and last Sunday, worry was the topic. I loved the quote we heard from Dr. Charles Mayo, "You can't worry yourself to life, but you can worry yourself to death."

One of the biggest things I struggle with is control. Worry stems from wanting to have control over things that are out of your hands. Faith and worry are not compatible. If you trust God's will, you cannot simultaneously worry about your life. When you worry, what you are really saying is "God, I don't trust you. I want to control my own life because I don't think you will provide for me."

Thankfully, we have a God who ignores that ridiculous behavior, and guides us anyways.

Psalm 23 says that "God is MY shepherd...." not a shepherd, or the shepherd, but mine and yours. What does a shepherd do? He tends for sheep. We are the sheep in this- and sheep need a shepherd to survive. As far as animals go, I'm fairly sure sheep are at the bottom of the "self-survival" list. They have almost zero instinct to protect themselves, and the sad part is, they don't even know it. That's a good comparison to humans. We think we can do it, but we just can't. We spend so much time saying "This is what my heart wants, I want to be happy, I have a plan, etc..." but we forget to stop and ask what God has for us. God's plans are always so much better than our own. When we try to live for ourselves and for our own gain, we not only usually fail, but we miss out on many wonderful experiences that can only be reached when we live within God's will. I know so many people, especially people my age, who think they are living their best life by doing whatever they want to do, whatever comes their way and looks like it could bring happiness/contentment. The problem with that, though, is that contentment cannot be brought through things. It is formed through whatever we already have along with trust that God will keep us where we need to be. When you try to do your own thing, you almost guarantee that you will end up worrying about things. It's an endless cycle that gets you nowhere.

As sheep, that's all we can do on our own- live in a cycle of worry and failure. However, when we let our shepherd guide us, we can break the cycle and begin to live a truly fulfilling life. We discussed four things that our shepherd does in church:
1. He provides,
2. He protects,
3. He directs, and
4. He guides.
There is a difference between directing and guiding. To direct is to stay in one position while giving directions to another. Think of a time you were lost somewhere and asked for directions- the person most likely just gave you street names or landmarks to follow. Guiding involves going along, leading the way- like a tour guide.

So, to summarize: we shouldn't worry. God's good and perfect will never fails. When the universe was created, every human to ever walk the earth was formed in God's plan, and every breath we take is recorded before we are even born. Thinking about that amazes me- to know a God who literally has already seen every act of your lifetime, but who loves you extravagantly anyways.

Before I close, I should say that there are two things we should be worrying about:
1. Trying to shepherd our own life, and
2. Trying to save and forgive ourselves.
Why would we ever want to be our own shepherd when we have no idea what tomorrow holds? Especially when there is a shepherd who does know and is willing to take us in as soon as we call. Secondly, we simply cannot save or forgive ourselves. It doesn't work that way- not even in Earthly things. If you were to rob a bank, get caught, and stand before a judge, you could not say "Oh, wait! You should know that I have already forgiven myself." and get away with the robbery. You cannot live for yourself. The human heart is not to be trusted. You may acquire short-term gratification from living your own way, but you will never find true happiness apart from God.

Listen, you are so abundantly loved. The Bible tells us that nothing can ever separate us from this extravagant love. Jesus' love for us is so limitless that He endured the worst pain you could ever imagine. "You took the fall, and thought of me above all." Live in this love and trust in this promise.



-Thanks for reading! You can continue to follow my journey here. Prayers are always appreciated. Feel free to send me a prayer or some encouragement, too! Kelsey_Phipps@baylor.edu

 

"You can be sure that God will take care of everything you need, His generosity exceeding even yours in the glory that pours from Christ Jesus. Our God and Father abounds in glory that just pours out into eternity. Yes." -Philippians 4:19-20