In all seriousness, this week has been an endurance test in so many ways. I said goodbye to my extended family on Monday, and on Monday night, I blew a tire on my car. Tuesday morning I packed up and said goodbye to my best friend, and Tuesday night, I remembered all the things that I forgot to pack. Wednesday was move-in, and it was a blur of excitement and nervousness and uncertainty. The plan was originally for my parents to stay on campus with me until around 9pm, but they ended up having to leave around 6:30 instead. The weekend was very busy trying to navigate campus and all the activities and still get some sleep. It will probably be a while before I can talk about what saying goodbye felt like. Not just with my parents and brother, but with my entire family and all of my friends. My heart is both full and broken. No one has family like I do, and the support I am receiving through daily texts/calls alone is incredible. No one has family like mine.
Sunday night we had a candlelight worship/prayer service for all of the freshman. It was one of the most beautiful, intimate, incredible experiences I have ever had. To stand in an auditorium with over 4,000 other students and sing my most favorite song (Oceans- Hillsong United) was just awesome. Then we listened to a sermon that really touched my heart- I have been struggling since arriving at Baylor with many small challenges that just keep adding up in my mind and heart and making me feel completely beat down.
He spoke about Jesus walking on water and calling Simon Peter to come and join him (Matthew 14:22-34). There is a group of people in the boat with Peter, and when they see Jesus coming, they're all scared that He's a ghost. When Jesus calls out to them, he tells them not to be afraid. The scene may look daunting, but Jesus is in the midst of it. Out of all the group, Peter is the only one who gets out of the boat. He quickly begins to sink, and Jesus again calls out to Peter to trust and obey Him. Only when Peter gives up control and puts his faith in Jesus is he able to walk out onto the water with Him- which is pretty uncommon and incredible. (I'm sure the boat group was impressed.)
"Immediately Jesus reached His hand out and caught him. "You of little faith," He said, "why did you doubt?" -Matthew 14:31
The story relates to life today because we all have a choice to make with Jesus. Sitting in a boat is fine- at least you are out on the water. That's no easy task in itself; it's dark, cold, and you're in the middle of a large body of water. The boat is small, though, and Jesus has called you out into the water. He also knows that as human, we're imperfect- He didn't leave Peter to drown when he struggled on the water, and He doesn't leave us, either. He knows that our faith will falter, and when it does, He is there to lift us back up into Him, to call out our Faith and renew our strength. Walking out onto the water with Jesus is where we find true life- it is not easy or simple, but we do not have to fear failure when we put our faith in Jesus. His good and perfect plan prevails, and sometimes, the mistakes we make are even part of that plan. One thing we can always be sure of is that His plan is the most incredible path that our lives could ever take. Incredible joy, love, peace, and wisdom is found in every crevice of His work.
Realizing these things has made all the difference in my mindset about Baylor. It hasn't been a complete transformation, for example: I had a rather traumatic Target experience today that included getting lost, over-spending, and tearing a chunk of skin out of my foot, and I ended up calling my mom crying about how I didn't think I was ready to do this on my own. I felt so small and incapable, and at the same time, so very far away from my home and family. That was not a good mix. After some encouragement from my mom (and some jokes from my dad, who always seems to find humor in my dramatic teenage moments) I found some peace and solace in the love of my parents and Jesus, who reminded me that my clumsy transition into adulthood is, in fact, NOT the end of the world. Funny how He knows that, and I forget so often. (: I will never be perfect in my faith, because I am human, but I am continually learning how to keep my faith at the forefront of my mind, ready to be called into action when trouble arises.
"He replied, 'Because you have so little faith. I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.'" -Matthew 17:20
"Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see." -Hebrews 11:1
What a wonderful, passionate God we serve, who's love for His children is so intimate and extravagant. I can feel Him all around me, holding me together and guiding me in His will as my journey at Baylor begins. What an incomparable blessing!
-Thanks for reading! You can continue to follow my journey here. Prayers are always appreciated. Feel free to send me a prayer or some encouragement, too! Kelsey_Phipps@baylor.edu
"You can be sure that God will take care of everything you need, His generosity exceeding even yours in the glory that pours from Christ Jesus. Our God and Father abounds in glory that just pours out into eternity. Yes." -Philippians 4:19-20
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